Looking for a relationship boost, marriage-bonding activity, at-home date-night idea?
Focused on problems instead of possibilities … especially during the pandemic?
Find the fun!
Enjoyment, laughter, and moments of joy facilitate intimacy. Studies show you can boost the bond between the two of you through fun activities or joyful experiences.
Why? An essential component to intimacy is letting down one’s walls, which requires being vulnerable and revealing your authentic self. Having more fun together, doing enjoyable things more frequently as a couple, and laughing WITH each other (not at your beloved’s expense) are some examples.
Joyful moments, fun activities, and laughing together are all ways to relax, feel more comfortable, and enjoy each other. Relaxing, feeling comfortable, and enjoying togetherness sets the stage for opening up to each other, sharing deeply, bonding more, and accepting each other as we are — which can all pave the way for greater intimacy.
You don’t have to take improv classes, study standup, and take stand-up comedy lessons (like I have). In fact, making yourself into a comedic center-piece or performing to try to make your partner laugh can sometimes come off as “it’s all about me.” Grand-standing or injecting humor when it’s not appropriate can be a big turn-off.
Instead, seek out joy-filled moments where you are experiencing them together as a team, side by side. With both of you on equal footing and going through it together, it can create a memorable moment, an intimate dynamic.
That’s why a good first date is often one that involves adrenaline or laughter. It might involve riding a roller coaster or going on another heart-pumping amusement ride. Perhaps it’s attending a comedy show together that makes you BOTH laugh out-loud at the jokes. It could even be a bucket-list item such as a hot-air balloon ride that stokes excitement.
Letting your guard down and taking a risk together can fast-track your fun factor. And being accepted in your risk-taking vulnerability is essential. When we feel trusted and embraced — not judged or criticized — and that it’s okay ‘to be me’ in this moment, then your bond gets a significant boost.
But what if you can’t get out to an amusement park? Or don’t have the funds for a hot-air balloon experience? Or you’ve already overdosed on Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon comedy specials; funny YouTube videos; or other things at home that make you laugh?
Well the magic comes not from the money or the place. It comes from creating a “safe space.” The key is fostering an atmosphere of acceptance of each other, being open, caring and kind. A space and time where you’re able to show your true, authentic self — and let free to explore, laugh, and simply “be you.”
So how do you do this?
This summer the Fun & Intimacy Adventure was launched. Built using our many years of experience, we tested it in August 2020 with a small group of people. The feedback was overwhelming positive, and we received great input on how to make it even better.
The new and improved version is a five-week program launching in fall 2020. The weekly lessons each have a worksheet and instructional video that teaches an activity to immediately practice what is taught. All activities can be done at home for little or no cost.
Each of the five lessons shows what you can do within 24 hours to have more fun, build intimacy, and deepen the connection with your beloved. The redesigned format also supports using the lessons as part of a series of date nights.
I felt called to launch this program in 2020, as many of us are limited in what we can do during the pandemic. And now, more than ever, many of us are realizing the importance of family and friends and having healthy, supportive relationships and nurturing bonds to keep us connected in challenging times.
So plan to join me in the coming weeks, and learn new ways that can lead to deeper love, better relationships, stronger marriages.
My husband and I hope to see you there!
Peace + Love,
Brenda
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Updated September 28, 2020, to revise the status of the Fun & Intimacy Adventure new-and-improved program relaunch.
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Brenda Dow, Marriage Educator and Relationship Coach | https://brendadow.com/